Soybeans, Too

Back Home Again in Indiana

Dry Campus

Sometimes you come home to your baby apartment to discover a note on the door saying your water will be shut off from 8:30 in the am to 5 in the pm in a week. Why? No one knows. I think mostly apartment complexes enjoy the occasional power trip.

You’ll leave said note in a prominent location so you don’t forget your water will be shut off from 8:30 in the am to 5 in the pm in a week. And by “so you don’t forget”, I mean “so your husband – who no longer has to be a functioning part of society at any particular time – won’t forget that just this once, he needs to bathe by a reasonable hour”.

And yet, at 9 in the am, you’ll receive a text from said husband saying, “I may have forgotten the water was being turned off for the day. I done messed up, A A Ron.” This text will be followed by another text saying, “I took a whore’s bath to mask the stench so it’s semi under control”.

You’ll then spend the rest of the day being grateful you’re stuck at work all day only to return home to the baby apartment to discover yet another note saying your water will be shut off from 8 in the am to 6 in the pm (this is getting out of control) tomorrow. Your husband will then ask you to wake him up in a timely manner so he can avoid another day of sitting in his filth.

And then your husband will take it one step further – he will fill both sides of the kitchen sink with water “so if I need to wash my hands or something”.

Long story short, I came home to a baby apartment last night and left the set of Doomsday Preppers this morning.

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This entry was posted on October 17, 2013 by in Uncategorized.
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