10 Places I Will Never Go
1. The sky via hot air balloon.
I was thisclose to becoming a widow.
2. North Korea for fear of being kidnapped and/or thrown in jail. I’m too weak for jail. (Russia and China, I’m also looking at you.)
3. A porta potty marked Men. I don’t care how long the Women’s line is.
He didn’t actually hit 71. But he did throw his arm out.
4. Antarctica. My people are a warm people.
5. Mississippi. See #2.
Someone may have had a bit too much Capri Sun.
6. Wrigley Field. This is mostly based on principle but also because a concussion due to falling chunks of stadium does not sound like a good time.
7. The moon. We can’t all go to space, kids. We can’t all go to space.
At least we had a nice view while staring down death by foul ball.
8. Storm chasing. I’m not big on what you’d call “tempting fate”.
9. Times Square for New Year’s Eve. Just thinking about it results in me needing a paper bag. (See also: Navy Pier for 4th of July.)
Being an uncle is hard, serious work.
10. The running of the bulls. As it turns out, I haven’t completely lost my mind.
Soybeans, Too 