Soybeans, Too

Back Home Again in Indiana

Public Bathroom #6

If there’s one thing a public bathroom is good for, it’s bringing out the weird in people. The bathroom at work is used by not only all the females at the station, but by all the females on our floor (and I’m 99% sure females from other floors – no one knows why since all floors are equipped with bathrooms), and some of these bathroom comrades are the strangest people I’ve ever encountered.

Paper Towel Girl. She walks in, grabs 47 paper towels, and then goes into the stall. The question is: what the what is she doing with all those paper towels??? I’d say she’s sanitizing the seat before she sits down, but there’s no sanitizer involved. Using them as a seat cover makes exactly zero sense since there are seat covers in every stall. Is she using them as toilet paper? That cannot be comfortable.

Phone Girl. She walks in with her phone and earbuds every. single. time. Does she need a little pep talk to use the bathroom? Is she listening to Everybody Poops as a reminder that it’s okay? How long does she plan to be in there???

Overzealous Lysol Sprayer. She does her thing, leaves her mark, and then oversprays to cover her mark. Homegirl. I would much rather smell your cloud of crap than taste the Lysol.

Foot Flusher. Instead of flushing the toilet by pushing the lever with her hand like a normal person, the Foot Flusher uses her foot. Why??? Your next stop is soap and water. What are you gaining by flushing with your foot?

No Flusher. She tinkles and instead of flushing, she doesn’t flush. The only explanation I can come up with for this is she’s too weak to push the lever. Eat some spinach, girlfriend. You got this.

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This entry was posted on February 4, 2015 by in Uncategorized.
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