Back Home Again in Indiana
Every time I open the refrigerator door, I’m face to face with the dreaded glucose test beverage of choice. I realize I’m lucky because I get to drink that crap cold and at home, but I’m also highly concerned about getting it all down in 5 minutes. So to distract myself from the horrors that await, I thought I’d put together a little list of the upsides of being knocked up (and no, pregnancy glow and luscious locks aren’t on the list because those aren’t real).
You know exactly when you’re going to pee – every hour, on the hour. Unless you had coffee followed by water. Then it’s every 15 to 20 minutes for a good two hours.
All these trips to the bathroom make hitting your Fitbit step goal super easy. There’s been essentially zero effort over here for a good 2 months now.
You get to park inside the front door at some stores. I haven’t actually used it because a) I’m a Fitbit addict and b) I feel like I’m not far enough along to use it, but several places have expectant mom/new mom parking, and it’s ridiculously close to the door. It shall be amazing when winter arrives.
If you opt to sleep in instead of get up and work out, you’re not lazy – it’s just exhausting growing a tiny human.
If the pizza place knows you by name, you don’t have a problem – it’s just exhausting growing a tiny human.
You can act like a totally insane person and no one can call you out on it because it will only make it worse.
Sometimes the usher at the Reds game stops to make sure you’re okay. Other times the random woman on the street (who may or may not be a crack whore) tells you, “Congratulations.” It’s weird, but nice.
Dessert on the daily is 100% acceptable. At this point, it’s your only vice.
By about 25 weeks in, if you sit/lay on the couch, you can balance a bowl of ice cream on your belly. Embrace the stereotype.
When you forget what you were talking about halfway through your sentence, forget to put dinner in the Crock Pot, or try to put milk in the pantry, you’re not an idiot, you’re suffering from pregnancy brain. This also applies to forgetting you weren’t going to Starbucks again. Not that I would know anything about that. . . .