Soybeans, Too

Back Home Again in Indiana

Over. It.

Don’t get confused and think we managed to get our act together and are now 100% ready for this kid to show up. The car seat’s still not installed, I’m still calmly panicking over how this kid’s busting out, and I still haven’t packed a hospital bag (although I did start a list), but I’m also hitting the point where everything is easier said than done.

Shoes. You haven’t struggled in life until you’ve been 9 months pregnant tying your shoes. Why don’t I have Jesse help me? Because he leaves for work before I’ve even thought about hopping in the shower. So instead it takes me 5 minutes to put on my socks, put on my shoes, and tie my shoes. It’s 3 minutes if I swap the tie shoes for boots, but then I’m dealing with swollen feet in the afternoon. There is no winning scenario here.

Pants. Taking off my pants should not be a full blown aerobic exercise.

Acid reflux. If you’ve ever wanted to live life as a dragon, get knocked up.

Bending over. If I drop something, it lives on the floor now. This is also why I’m no longer shaving my legs or cutting my toe nails. There’s a lot of sexy happening over here.

Food. I would push over a toddler for Jimmy John’s right now. It’s not like I ate Jimmy John’s on the regular, but knowing I “can’t” have it is enough to make it all I want. . .other than a burger that’s not charred. Hide your toddlers – I’d probably knock one over for that, too.

Clothes. I have about 5 tops that fit right now, and I’m really starting to hate them all.

Bladder. WHY IS IT SO TINY????

I’d keep going, but I promise you don’t want to know the rest.

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This entry was posted on October 26, 2015 by in Uncategorized and tagged .
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