Back Home Again in Indiana
If motherhood does one thing, it turns you into a hoarder. Boogs is 7 months old which means he hasn’t fit in his newborn clothes for the last 2 years, hasn’t fit in his 0-3 month clothes for the last 9 months, and started busting out of his 3-6 month clothes in his last life. And yet I still had a closet and dresser full of these clothes which left little to no room for the clothes that do fit him. Why? Mommy Hoarding.
Mommy Hoarding is a very specific type of hoarding – the standards are higher than your typical hoarding. In Mommy Hoarding, you refuse to let go of anything your child wore, played with, looked at, or chewed on. . .unless those items were hand me downs (I told you – high standards). Instead, you leave these items where they have always lived while hoping more storage space magically appears for the items your child now needs. You realize you’re being ridiculous, but you can’t do anything to stop the ridiculous. And so the Mommy Hoarding continues.
Eventually you’ll have an out of body experience, recognize yourself as the Mommy Hoarder you are, and think “maybe it’s time to box this up and put it in the garage.” When you mention this to your husband, he asks if you want to just go ahead and donate it or give it to your friends who are currently knocked up. You ask him what part of “put it in the garage” was not in English, declare the whole thing a terrible plan, and take weeks to work up the courage to actually obtain a storage container.
At this point, you realize Band-Aiding the situation is the only way to go – you throw all the tiny clothes into a giant pile on the living room floor, lay in it for awhile, fold everything up, box it up, and then leave it in the corner of the kitchen (that last part’s really only because there’s a live cricket in the garage). And as you cut the tags off new baby clothes, you mentally high five yourself for conquering the Mommy Hoarding. . .even as you acknowledge the cycle is about to start again.