My First Halloween
(a guest post by Boogs)
Mom and Dad kept hyping up this Halloween thing and, honestly, at first I didn’t care because it didn’t sound like an extra bottle was involved. But they kept going on about a sea turtle costume like Sheldon and shaking down the neighbors for candy, and I eventually found myself getting caught up in the excitement. In fact, I was so excited the night before I could hardly sleep. I was up 5 times and it took Mom 30 minutes each time to get me calmed down enough to go back to bed. She smelled of frustration and annoyance, but I think that was just her Halloween Eve costume.
Halloween morning I did those fools a favor and woke them up a little before 5 so we could get the party started. They didn’t seem as appreciative as I thought they would. Mom told Dad, “It’s your turn to deal with this,” and disappeared for awhile. Dad gave me a bottle (sucker) and then brought me in their closet to play with some toys while they got ready. I wasn’t really on board with this plan and let that be known after about 45 seconds so Mom picked me up and tricked me into going back to sleep. I’ve gotta figure out how she does that.
She woke me up a little later and started talking about going to school which I didn’t understand because it was Halloween and wasn’t she all excited about Halloween? Didn’t that mean we were spending the whole day together? When she dropped me off at school, I sobbed for awhile to let her know how disappointing Halloween was so far. (I’ve actually been doing that a lot lately. It’s mostly a mindgame so I can keep the upper hand. She doesn’t know it, but I’m totally fine 30 seconds after she leaves.)
Anyway, it turns out the Halloween party doesn’t really start until you get home from school. As soon as we got home, I lost my mind because DAD WAS THERE, and he turned me into Sheldon. Mom seemed nervous like she thought I was going to scream or something, but I thought it was hilarious. Even when I got stuck a little bit as they were putting the shell on me, I still giggled. Then we took some pictures (which is always awesome – have you seen how good I look?), they gave me a bucket, and we went to shake the neighbors down for some candy.
This part turned out to be a major letdown. First of all, we only went to one house. Second of all, they wouldn’t let me eat any of the candy! We just stood in the driveway while Mom gave away all the good stuff to random street children. Can you believe that?!? At least the neighbor gave me a notepad and everyone had the decency to tell me how cute I was.
Eventually we went inside, Dad tried to give me some carrots which I threw around the kitchen because no, he got smart and gave me a bottle, and they made me go to bed even though I was still riding high on stranger attention and paper eating. If you think this led to me being up 5 times again that night, congratulate yourself on being a genius. Just wait until they see what I have in store for them after my birthday party this weekend. . . .
Soybeans, Too 