The Swimsuit
I haven’t owned a swimsuit since the 80s which means I haven’t shopped for a swimsuit since the 60s so you can imagine how excited I was to embark on this adventure. I thought I’d be a genius and get it in early May – you know, before all the good ones were gone. This was brilliant in theory, but I forgot that in reality I have zero time to go swimsuit shopping and buying clothes online stresses me out because I’m not the same size across the board so I never know which size to order. So in standard Jenn fashion, I had swimsuits and rash guards for Boogser and Jesse, towels for all of us, a pool bag, and a sunhat by the middle of May and then panic shopped for myself the weekend before Memorial Day.
Boogs and I went to Super Target, I told him I’ll be damned if I don’t find a swimsuit today, and he showed his support by throwing his puzzle out of the cart. Repeatedly. This led to a rousing round of Beat the Meltdown as I made the world’s quickest pass through the swimsuit section picking out a one piece (sans skirt for I am neither Mormon nor 90) based 99% on what was available in what I was guessing was my size. As you can tell, it was all a very well thought out process with no room for error.
That night I tried it on, Jesse assured me I didn’t look “like a can of busted biscuits”, but I felt like it was too tight so Boogs and I found ourselves back at Super Target exchanging my swimsuit on Memorial Day weekend. During all of this, Jesse kept asking me what the big deal was because, “It’s just a swimsuit.” Right. Just a swimsuit. Totally not parading around half naked for all the world to see. Can’t imagine why I’d be uncomfortable. But as uncomfortable as I was, I was also determined to take my child to the pool because I was pretty sure he’d love it and, honestly, I’ll take the memories over the trauma any day.
So to the pool we went! And you know what happened when we got there? I was so laser focused on making sure Boogs didn’t drown I didn’t even care what I looked like in that swimsuit. I’m sure there were people there judging me for looking like a can of busted biscuits, but I did not care because I was too busy watching my child have the time of his life. . .on the deck of the pool. Where no swimsuits are required. Should’ve seen that coming.
Soybeans, Too 