Back Home Again in Indiana
Oh, Father’s Day. That one day of the year we shower the dads in our lives with love and attention. . .and an empty house so they can finish their end of class project that’s due at midnight.
Have you ever taken your 1 ½ year old on major excursions by yourself on consecutive days? It’s not for the weak. Literally. At several points on both days, your tiny terror will insist you carry him which would be fine if you didn’t have to also push the stroller because you paid way too much money for that thing to just abandon it and start over.
You also need to lower your standards on bathroom behavior. I’m talking only die a little on the inside while watching your child splash in the toilet lower your standards. And also pretend it’s perfectly fine that your child is soaked in toilet water while you hold him to wipe him down after said toilet splashing lower your standards. Totally not shuddering as I write this.
It’s a scientific fact that taking your child on back to back major excursions is an excellent way to wear them out – they’ll pass out in the car on the way home, spend the next few hours on the (hella) cranky side, and be ready for bed by 6 in the pm. The downside is it’s also an excellent way to wear yourself out. I’m actually sleeping as I write this. But again, 6 in the pm bedtime. Worth it.
My major excursion suggestions are the Children’s Museum and the zoo with the Children’s Museum rating slightly higher since the tiny humans can run around like maniacs with little to no risk of being eaten by a bear. However, the zoo has flamingoes which, based on the fight I received trying to leave them, are clearly the greatest animal God put on this planet. But both activities involve a carousel and little girls for your tiny mack daddy to sidle up to so you can’t go wrong either way. Just maybe go with a recording of their favorite song for the car ride. If I have to sing the baby bumblebee song one more time, I’m going to lose my $#!*.