Back Home Again in Indiana
I had such a good blog post going in my head as I was falling asleep last night, but now I remember exactly none of it. These are the hazards of fever dreams. So let’s talk about poop instead.
Boogs has now pooped in the potty at school twice (who knows. . .we may be up to 3 times by the time he gets home today). Don’t get all excited thinking we’re in the throes of potty training over here; it’s more that he has a very distinct pooping face so his teachers catch it and get him to go on the potty. He still doesn’t have dry diapers so he’s not ready for full blown potty training, but I know that day’s coming sooner rather than later and honestly, it scares the poop out of me for several reasons.
Let’s start with the actual poop. I know he’s going to have accidents, and I know not all of those accidents are going to be pee accidents. I managed to touch poop bare handed while changing his diaper a few weeks ago and I can still feel it today so to say I’m not looking forward to cleaning up those accidents is an understatement. I’m also not looking forward to laundry days filled with skid marks.
I’m also really not looking forward to the time commitment. I am not a patient man which is a large part of why Jesse’s been in charge of this faux potty training stage we’re in (see also: man parts). Boogs will tell us he wants to go potty and is then content to sit there for the rest of his life. Right now it’s not really a big deal because we can play the 2 minutes or hear the bell game, put a diaper back on, and go on with our lives, but once we start really potty training, I’m going to need him to actually go potty and just thinking about how long he’s going to take is enough to make me lose my mind. The bathroom’s nice and all, but it’s not my favorite room to hang out in for hours on end.
I also have grave concerns about my lack of patience and his strong will. You know what he does when I ask him to do something? The opposite. You know when that’s not going to end well? When he clearly has to go potty but is refusing to. I imagine this will happen at least 562 times a day.
I’m sure there are other aspects of potty training that should scare the poop out of me, but for now I’m just going to order a potty seat and bask in the ignorant bliss of I don’t know what I don’t know.