Stella Junior Junior
If that looks like two Hyundai Santa Fes in my driveway, that’s because it is. We are nothing if not wildly adventurous over here.
Actually, we are wildly adventurous over here because we’ve now taken a tiny human car shopping with us not once, but twice. Last year was round one and we obviously had no idea what we were doing which was evidenced by what an animal he was – at one point he had managed to get the wipes out of the diaper bag and was sitting on the floor pulling them out one at a time. Little man had the place trashed by the time we left (but he had also thoroughly wiped down every surface with the wipes he pulled out so at least it was a clean trashing). This year I came a little more prepared.
I loaded the diaper bag with snacks, Play Doh, paper and crayons, his Magnadoodle, and his tablet so of course he spent the entire 3+ hours we were there watching videos on our phones while eating poor man’s CheezIts. This time around, Boogser could not get enough of car shopping. Every time I would get something out of the diaper bag, change how I was sitting, or blink, he’d ask, “We’re not gonna leave yet?” He asked me this as we were walking to the finance manager’s office, he asked me this as we were walking back from the finance manager’s office, he asked me this as we were walking to the parts department to get the all weather floor mats Jesse decided I couldn’t live without. You give this kid garbage videos on YouTube and cheese crackers, and he is set for life.
And no, I did not misspeak – the all weather floor mats were for me because even though we replaced Jesse’s car, I got the new car. The first several times he floated this idea I shut it down because he deserves nice things, too. But then he started using the weird logic he’s known for and it became apparent this was a battle I was not going to win so I got a new car while he got my sloppy thirds (we bought it used last year). The man is either a saint or saving this for later.
We christened the new Santa Fe Stellar Junior Junior (but will just be calling her Stella), and I immediately folded down the third row seats so I no longer felt like I was driving a minivan when I looked in the rear view mirror. Stellar Junior, which Jesse is now driving, has been renamed Stanley and shall occasionally be called Stan Lee. And if these namings don’t prove that we have no business ever having another kid, I don’t know what does.
Soybeans, Too 