Friday Five
This morning Boogs was regaling us with the tale of his birth and, in a surprise to no one, his recollection is nothing like mine. I apparently popped him out outside and promptly put him in time out. The time out may or may not have been related to him being in mine and Jesse’s computers. A garbage truck and ghost were also somehow involved, and the only explanation I have for any of this is maybe there were drugs in his apple juice. Watch out for the Mott’s for Tots; what it lacks in sugar, it makes up for in LSD.
I asked Boogs what we should get Jesse for Father’s Day, and, because he knows his father so well, he told me “baby toys”. I asked Jesse what he wanted for Father’s Day, and, because he doesn’t know himself at all, he told me “a rotisserie for the grill.” While I should have told him his gift was a) our new mattress, b) his new stupid expensive pillow, or c) baby toys due to a and b, I opted for the rotisserie because while it cost more than the grill itself, it’s also the gift that will benefit me the most and I’m incredibly selfless like that. (It’s fine that I’m posting this now – Jesse never reads this thing, and he was gifted with said rotisserie during pretend Father’s Day yesterday since we’re heading up to my parents’ for the weekend and no way am I hauling that giant rotisserie there and back.)
Re the new mattress: we got a new mattress! It was only about a year overdue. Jesse’s side had morphed into an actual ditch and apparently that was negatively affecting his sleep. Didn’t realize I married such a diva but whatever. We got a Beautyrest something or other and so far so good. Re the stupid expensive pillow: Jesse got another stupid expensive pillow to go with the new mattress. He calls it Black Beauty (it’s actually Black Ice), it was $130 (I wish I was kidding), and when I asked him yesterday how it was working, he nonchalantly told me, “It’s fine,” which means it’s not fine and we wasted over $100 on a pillow again. This is at least the third time and, again, I wish I was kidding. For someone who claims to want a vacation house one day, dude loves dropping buckets of money on pillows.
Half of Boogser’s sleep issues are he wakes up 5000 times in the night; the other half is he won’t go to sleep unless I’m in his room with him. So while I waste my entire evening sitting in there, I make the most of it with Candy Crush, Instagram, and other equally worthwhile endeavors. When I finally escape, I’m jacked up on blue light but need to go to bed so yesterday afternoon I set my phone to night shift at 7:30 pm to see if it actually helps with the blue light awakening. The verdict on that is still out, but I forgot I set the night shift and couldn’t figure out why my phone was yellow so I’m doing great.
We’re talking about going to the Sox game tomorrow. With Boogs. Jesse and my dad are certain this is a solid idea in which nothing can go wrong. My mom and I remain more reasonably skeptical – especially since it’s a 6:10 pm game which is 7:10 pm our time. All I know for sure is Boogs will either handle it like a champ or be a total nightmare. There will be no in between.
Soybeans, Too 