The Morning Routine
If you believe the internet – and you should because it’s rarely wrong – a solid morning routine can change your life. And while I’d love to be one of those people who gets up at midnight to meditate, work out, read, and write my manifesto (seriously what are these people writing every day???) before making myself an organic gluten free, dairy free, chia seed filled breakfast buffet, it’s never going to happen as long as we decide to keep Boogs around. What is going to happen is predictable chaos. And since I know this level of morning zen is highly sought after, I thought I’d share the solid morning routine I’ve cultivated over the last few years so you, too, can make Bubble Guppies the new Tony Robbins.
5:30 am Turn off alarm, fall back asleep while waiting for husband to get out of the bathroom
5:37 am Wake up in a slight panic you hella overslept, ride the adrenaline wave into the shower
5:38 am Start making mental to do list and Target list
6:00 am Husband comes in the bathroom, start talking to him, immediately forget everything on mental lists
6:15 am Start drying hair
6:16 am Make 3 year old go potty before his pull up starts leaking, pour juice, toast waffle, start Bubble Guppies, put peanut butter on waffle and strawberry bar
6:21 am Resume drying hair
6:21:30 am Shut down tantrum over there not being enough peanut butter on the waffle
6:22 am Resume drying hair
6:23 am Change episode of Bubble Guppies
6:24 am Resume drying hair
6:25 am Change Bubble Guppies to PJ Masks, find Elsa doll
6:26 am Resume drying hair
6:36 am Finally finish drying hair, start a pot of coffee and unload the dishwasher while saying, “Oh really?” to everything the 3 year old is telling you
6:38 am Get called out by the 3 year old for saying, “Oh really?” to everything he’s telling you and start actually listening to 3 year old rambling
6:40 am Start wondering what sort of drugs 3 year old is on
6:42 am Start making breakfast while putting dinner in the Crock Pot and packing up lunch
6:53 am Sit down to inhale breakfast
6:58 am Start getting dressed
6:59 am Start new episode of PJ Masks
7:00 am Resume getting dressed
7:01 am Change PJ Masks to Paw Patrol. No Mickey. No Blippi. No Paw Patrol.
7:02 am Resume getting dressed, start curling hair, shut down tantrum over wrong episode of Paw Patrol
7:05 am Go find Legos
7:07 am Resume curling hair
7:12 am Help put Elsa dress on
7:20 am Finally finish curling hair, start cleaning up the kitchen
7:30 am Fight with 3 year old over getting dressed
7:41 am Fight with 3 year old over putting shoes on
7:50 am Fight with 3 year old over it being time to go to school
7:52 am Buckle 3 year old in car as he tells you what song he’d like to listen to this morning (spoiler: it’s Frozen again)
7:53 am Run back in for toy 3 year old can’t live without even though it’s just going to sit in his locker all day
7:54 am Leave for school
8:00 am Drop 3 year old off at school
8:04 am Self high five for starting the day on such a productive and positive note
Soybeans, Too 