Soybeans, Too

Back Home Again in Indiana

2020: The Year We Can’t Win

After 4 months of being home with me, Boogs went back to school yesterday. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was a decision that confirmed what I’d been suspecting these past 4 months – as a parent, you can’t win right now.

Jesse’s been going in to work this entire time so it’s just been me and Boogser at home which means I had no one to trade off with other than the TV when I had work to do. Obviously you don’t want your kid spending all day every day in front of the TV eating snacks, but when you’re the only adult in the house and you have hard deadlines for work, what are your other options (other than the tablet which he also spent more than his fair share of time with)?

When this mess first started it wasn’t too bad because I didn’t have much to do work wise. But as the world’s reopened, my workload has picked up considerably, and the amount of time Boogs was spending with his best friend Samsung was alarming to say the least. It was also turning him into a nightmare as too much screen time is wont to do for a 4 year old, but because the stress of the world has rendered me permanently exhausted, even when I could take an hour or so to play with him, I defaulted to letting him still watch a show or a movie because it was just easier.

So over the last month or so, Jesse and I talked. And we talked and we talked and we talked. And we finally decided the reward outweighed the risk and sent Boogser back to school this week. And now, of course, I feel like a garbage mom because what kind of person sends her kid back to school in the midst of a still raging pandemic? But then I remember he’s now learning things other than Spice Girls lyrics and getting the quality attention he needs from his teachers and friends, and I pat myself on the back for doing what’s best for him. And then two minutes later I remember how this pandemic is still raging out of control and am I an actual monster for sending him to school right now???

And so the day goes now; back and forth and back and forth and back and forth until I’m even more exhausted and more confused as to what the right thing to do is. And that’s when I realize there is no right thing to do; no matter what you decide, it’s going to feel like the wrong decision. So the best you can do is choose what’s right for your family right now and then stay off Facebook. And that, kids, is the life advice we all need pandemic or not.

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This entry was posted on July 21, 2020 by in mom life and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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