Back Home Again in Indiana
Boogser started kindergarten last week, and I have feelings. But I quit therapy for a reason so instead let’s delve into my thoughts.
Like how is he legally able to start kindergarten? I mean, when did they start letting babies in kindergarten? They can’t even walk; how are they supposed to run laps in gym class?
And how is it 2021 and school buses still don’t have seatbelts? This was his main (and very valid) concern with the big yellow bus. His secondary concern turned out to be us putting him on the wrong bus because I never thought to tell him that unlike daycare, the teacher doesn’t drive the bus.
Also, if anyone asks, you are absolutely 3000% not allowed to bring your lunch to school. School lunch is the only real food this child eats all day so do not ruin this for me.
Speaking of lunch, they have options! In kindergarten! He gets to choose from 2 entrees every day which is a pretty major life decision when you’re 5. He also gets chocolate milk every day so school lunch > any other lunch in the history of lunch. And now lunch is one of those words that doesn’t seem real.
Also unreal: the fact that Boogs and I are no longer battling at bedtime! It’s been a long 84 years of him laying in his bed playing around instead of going to sleep, but kindergarten has no nap which means he now passes right out. Did I do a celebration song and dance the first night? You bet your sweet ass I did.
Pro tip: If the PTA offers to buy the school supplies for you, LET THEM. I don’t care if it’s more expensive than what you can get all the supplies for at Target or wherever, it’s worth it to avoid a) the tantrum over not being able to immediately use said supplies, b) the tantrum over being there for school supplies and only school supplies (read: not a new toy), and c) having to find the exact brand and color of all the supplies because sweet lady freedom are they picky. The approved snack list is also ridiculously specific, but that I can’t outsource.
And finally, if your child comes home from the first day of kindergarten telling you, “I loved it”, just quit momming right then and there because you have peaked. Boogs raises himself now.